This is What I Call My Therapy

Every now and then, I feel the urge to just write out what I wish other people knew. I don't say their names -- just how I feel. It's been awhile since I've done this, and with everything changing and getting ready to change lately, I feel the need to do it again. Let's go...

1) I'm going to miss you so incredibly much. There are simply no words to describe it. I'm going to miss your pure, innocent smile, the way you lit up the entire room you were in, the way you held my hand, the way you depended on me so very much... I wonder if you think of me. I wonder if you'll forget me. I definitely won't forget you. God has allowed you to touch my life so deeply that you'll probably always be a part of my understanding of myself and the world around me, despite the fact that I only knew you for such a short time.

2) You could make me laugh like no one else. The simple way that you saw the world opened my eyes and my heart. I love that little half-smile of yours whenever you were joking. I love the way you said my name and even those little weird names you called me. You'll always be a part of me too, and I miss you so very much. Don't forget me, please?

3) Wow. You and I have had so much fun together. If we ever wrote that book that you and I were talking about, I know it would already be past 500 pages. When I think back to how it all started, it seems like such a random event that put us together in an unexpected circumstance, but I know that was God's Hand in our lives all along. We needed each other, and I didn't realize how much. I literally, honestly don't know what I'd do or who I'd be without you in my life. I am so thankful for you. Our time together will soon draw to a close, and I don't know what we'll do then! But I don't want to think about that right now. We have way too many more fun times to have before then. Here's to many more memories ahead!

4) I wonder how often you think of me. How did we ever get so close? You are definitely one of the most special people I've ever met in my entire life, and I love for everyone to know how good of friends we are. You're like a mother to me. I think of you often because you're such a huge part of my life. You've impacted me in so many ways. I hope I have children some day and they can meet you and know how truly amazing you are. You'll be in my heart forever. I miss you and hope to see you soon.

5) Until very recently, I would never have expected that you would grow to be a part of my life. You're... different, but the more I get to know you, the more I realize that I think you and I are extremely compatible. You're like me in that you seem a bit "scary" (for lack of a better word) or at least "stand-offish" at first, but then once people get to know us, they get to know our hearts. I don't know what role you're going to play in my near future, but I feel that you and I are meant to be close. I feel God telling me that I need you and you need me, though I don't know why as of yet. It's as if God is telling me to get as close to you as I can right now because something important needs to happen; that's why I approached you the way I did and when I did. I can't wait to see where our relationship will go.

6) I wish you were man enough to stand in front of me and tell me how you've felt all this time. I want to know all the lies and the truths. They may have been able to tear me to shreds before, but things are different now. I know more about this than you realize, and while I don't hate you, it's so hard to fight negative feelings towards you. A part of me still wants you in my life, but I really feel that it's just because I wanted you for so long. For quite sometime, I didn't know how to be me without you. Now I do, and I'm happy. It's so funny that I wished and prayed for you for so very long. I thought that I lost the battle, but no. That was God protecting me from you. Wow. The thought of that is absolutely astounding. If I had gotten what I wanted, it could have destroyed me, but God saw it fit not to give me what I asked for because He knew what was best for me -- and after all this time, it wasn't you...


I'm sure I'll do more of these later. I really enjoyed it, and I feel better now!

Review of Love's First Bloom

Ruth Livingstone's life is quickly turned upside down when her father, Reverend Livingstone, is accused of murder and must stand trial. To protect Ruth, he sends her with a young child to a family in a different state. Tragedy soon strikes, and Ruth must keep her assumed identity. While Ruth seeks peace attending to an abandoned garden, she meets Jake Spencer, a man with an ulterior motive altogether. Ruth and Jake's twists of lies are difficult to untangle, even as love slowly begins to blosom between the two.

Love's First Bloom is a very enjoyable story that I believe develops quite well. Delia Parr's descriptions paired with the plotline are quite lovely in themselves. I found myself not wanting to put this book down and looking forward how the story would unfold. My only complaint is that I very quickly grew tired of the term “fallen angels” being used over and over...

I received this book for free from Bethany House Publishers as a part of their book review program. I was not required to write a positive review; my opinions, therefore, are completely unbiased.

Review of Heaven is for Real

Colton Burpo is one extraordinary little boy. During an emergency appendectomy that he is not predicted to survive, Colton gets to visit heaven, see Jesus, and even converse with people like his great-grandfather, who had died long before Colton was born. His details of heaven, and especially of Jesus, were amazing.

I'm usually a bit wary of claims of experiences such as this, but this story definitely passed my test. Some “experiences” only confuse and scare readers, and as the Bible says, “God is love” and “There is no fear in love.” This book is not confusing or scary; it's actually the opposite! This was a refreshing, revitalizing read that brought me both laughter and tears. I finished reading this book in less than a full day because I literally didn't want to put it down. I kept having the desire to hear the blessing of Colton tell his story in person.

I received this book for free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as a part of their book review program. I was not required to write a positive review; my opinions, therefore, are completely unbiased.

I Don't Know Who I Am, Who I Am Without You; All I Know is That I Should

Life... Oh, if life had a rewind button! But alas, it doesn't, and we're stuck with our decisions. I can't go back a year and a half ago and tell him what I waited about two months too long to him. I can't make him change that either. I blame myself more than I blame him, in a way, even though we were equally at fault. I can't pretend that this whole situation hasn't put me in the most emotional pain that I've ever experienced. I can't even make hurting him make me feel any better about my situation. I certainly can't make him fight for me -- especially not with her there. What scares me is that I thought I was done hurting over this. I realize that I have to admit that I, despite everything, deep down still have feelings for him... feelings I don't want... feelings I would erase if I could. Do I love him? I don't know... I'm afraid to answer that question; I'm afraid that the answer would shake up everything I've always believed to be true about myself and about love. I can't face this right now. I don't anticipate falling for anyone else this hard again, because it hurts, way more than it should.

Review of Masquerade

The year is 1886, and Charlotte, “Lottie,” Gleason is leaving her life in England to marry a wealthy heir from America, whom she has never met. In her journey to find herself and mature, Lottie's life is changed in numerous ways, most notably when she decides to exchange identities with her lady maid, Dora. Both women must trust God to give them strength and to be a guide in their paths.

Though I can't explain why, I've always been interested in servants finding love with the higher class, and I assume that that is what drew me to this book in the first place. Nancy Moser has done a wonderful job of exploring the lavish Gilded Age, and once I started reading this story, I found that I didn't want to stop! I liked that Lottie was flawed but not in the sense that it appears the author made a noticeable effort to make the main character imperfect. This was a lovely book by Nancy Moser, and I would love to read more from her in the future.

I received this book for free from Bethany House Publishers as a part of their book review program. I was not required to write a positive review; my opinions, therefore, are completely unbiased.

Review of Where Hearts Are Free

Bridget Barrington is a young girl who is desperately in love with Philippe Clavell, a former French noble who became an indentured servant following hardships he and his family faced upon escaping to the New World. Because of their various differences, including the fact that Philippe is a Huguenot and Bridget is Catholic, Bridget's parents refuse to allow the two to be together. Once Philippe is released from his service, Bridget's parents quickly arrange for her to be married to Edward Moorehead, but Edward is far from who he seems to be. Both Bridget and Philippe must trust God to make a way for them. This book is book three in Golden Keyes Parsons' “Darkness to Light” trilogy. Though I have not read books one and two, my understanding of this novel was not at all compromised. It's a great stand-alone book, though I am sure that, if this book was any indication, the entire series would be a wonderful read. This was an excellent book, and I tend to be pretty picky when it comes to this particular genre! I didn't find any of the characters to be obviously fake or annoying, so that was very refreshing. “Where Hearts Are Free” is a book I didn't want to put down, and I'd love to read more from this author in the future. I received this book for free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as a part of their book review program. I was not required to write a positive review; my opinions, therefore, are completely unbiased.

Review of Outlive Your Life by Max Lucado

Being immediately drawn to Max Lucado's idea of “outliving your life,” I was excited about reading this book. To my delight, it even exceeded my high expectations. Seriously, how wonderful would it be if we Christians shared the love and glory of Jesus Christ in our lifetime so that that message would blossom and grow in other people's lives even beyond our own lives? If more Christians would live their lives this way, the world as we know it would undergo a change for the better. This is my first book of Lucado's that I have read, and I love his writing style and inspiring viewpoints. I found myself looking forward to the selected Scriptures and directed prayers at the end of each chapter. The more I read of this book, the more absorbed I became in it, and I definitely didn't want to put it down! I've already been recommending this book to others, and I would love to read more of Lucado's works in the future. I received this book for free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as a part of their book review program. I was not required to write a positive review; my opinions, therefore, are completely unbiased.